Monday, March 05, 2007
Lessons from Life
1. LHS cannot always be equal to RHS in relationships. Either party will love/give/forgive the other a "little" more.
2. Do not raise stakes to a point from where there is no graceful retraction/exit.
3. You cannot make all the people happy all the time.
4. You can lead the horse to the pond but you cannot make it drink.
5. Things should be broken into their simple components - but not simpler.
6. To understand is not to excuse.
7. Those who refuse to do arithmetic are doomed to speak nonsense.
8. Awareness (as opposed to ignorance) is giving up the right to be happy. Once you are aware, it is difficult to take solace in the untrue but reassuring certainties.
9. Happiness = S +C+V (set point + conditions+ voluntary activities)
10. Pity the workaholic - he is missing out on so much in life
11. Rewards are proportionate to the risk taken.
12. There is a difference between 'sincerity' and 'seriousness'. Work sincerely but not seriously.
13. The child brings something of his own in this world. One can influence how he turns out but not control it. A child is not a reflection on you. You only made the efforts. Parenting is Gitaesque. You can only put in effort but not the outcome. (metaphor - a child is like a plant. You can provide the water, soil and care. But you cannot determine the kind of seed/guarantee that the plan will be very health)
14. To an extent, we can all 'afford' our values. The starving man cannot 'afford' values.
15. In life, pain is mandatory, suffering is optional.
16. Wisdom is 'Balance'. Knowing when to let go and when to hold back is the key. Parenting is perhaps the highest kind of wisdom.
17. Sometimes it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
18. The quality of decisions should not be measured by the outcome.
19. Strength should not be confused with stubbornness.
20. Just because a question can be articulated does not make it meaningful.
22. Hindsight is 20-20. Do not worry too much about hindsight. If you "knew" rather than "thought" then, you would have acted on it.
23. If you are very pissed about something in life - do something about it apart from cribbing. Life is where your inner voice is.
24. People drift apart as they do not share value-systems. Check for value compatibility in a long-term relationship - like marriage.
25. Happiness, looked at a different way, is a by-product. Do what you can and happiness might come to you. There is no 'pursuit' of happiness.
27. Rarely it is just right to take a stance without building consensus. But it is extremely important sometimes (i.e. ending of Sati system, Supreme court's cowardice)
28. I cannot fight the argument on the quality a film saying - "Keep your brains at home when you see a movie (especially a Hindi movie). It insults my intelligence.
29. Women should work. It just makes relationships more equal. It is a different dynamic when the women is not financially dependent on the man. (this has changed). However I continue to believe in work.
30. Social change cannot only happen in organisations.
31. The business of business is not CSR
32. Sometimes you need to legislate social change
33. A lot of things in life are predicated by luck. Don't read competence or superior insight into success. Nobody knows anything.
34. Learn to exit and retire gracefully. Indians are generally bad at this one.
2. Do not raise stakes to a point from where there is no graceful retraction/exit.
3. You cannot make all the people happy all the time.
4. You can lead the horse to the pond but you cannot make it drink.
5. Things should be broken into their simple components - but not simpler.
6. To understand is not to excuse.
7. Those who refuse to do arithmetic are doomed to speak nonsense.
8. Awareness (as opposed to ignorance) is giving up the right to be happy. Once you are aware, it is difficult to take solace in the untrue but reassuring certainties.
9. Happiness = S +C+V (set point + conditions+ voluntary activities)
10. Pity the workaholic - he is missing out on so much in life
11. Rewards are proportionate to the risk taken.
12. There is a difference between 'sincerity' and 'seriousness'. Work sincerely but not seriously.
13. The child brings something of his own in this world. One can influence how he turns out but not control it. A child is not a reflection on you. You only made the efforts. Parenting is Gitaesque. You can only put in effort but not the outcome. (metaphor - a child is like a plant. You can provide the water, soil and care. But you cannot determine the kind of seed/guarantee that the plan will be very health)
14. To an extent, we can all 'afford' our values. The starving man cannot 'afford' values.
15. In life, pain is mandatory, suffering is optional.
16. Wisdom is 'Balance'. Knowing when to let go and when to hold back is the key. Parenting is perhaps the highest kind of wisdom.
17. Sometimes it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
18. The quality of decisions should not be measured by the outcome.
19. Strength should not be confused with stubbornness.
20. Just because a question can be articulated does not make it meaningful.
21. Do not hate anything very much. Have opinions but not extreme opinions. It will come back and haunt you.
22. Hindsight is 20-20. Do not worry too much about hindsight. If you "knew" rather than "thought" then, you would have acted on it.
23. If you are very pissed about something in life - do something about it apart from cribbing. Life is where your inner voice is.
24. People drift apart as they do not share value-systems. Check for value compatibility in a long-term relationship - like marriage.
25. Happiness, looked at a different way, is a by-product. Do what you can and happiness might come to you. There is no 'pursuit' of happiness.
27. Rarely it is just right to take a stance without building consensus. But it is extremely important sometimes (i.e. ending of Sati system, Supreme court's cowardice)
28. I cannot fight the argument on the quality a film saying - "Keep your brains at home when you see a movie (especially a Hindi movie). It insults my intelligence.
29. Women should work. It just makes relationships more equal. It is a different dynamic when the women is not financially dependent on the man. (this has changed). However I continue to believe in work.
30. Social change cannot only happen in organisations.
31. The business of business is not CSR
32. Sometimes you need to legislate social change
33. A lot of things in life are predicated by luck. Don't read competence or superior insight into success. Nobody knows anything.
34. Learn to exit and retire gracefully. Indians are generally bad at this one.
35. One has to decide if ones fear or ones hope should matter most.
36. Technology has made geography less relevant (Netflix is available everywhere). However, cities are attractive as they can support niches of interests.
36. Technology has made geography less relevant (Netflix is available everywhere). However, cities are attractive as they can support niches of interests.
37. Time eventually cooks all. Kala is powerful.
38. What you think about a situation is all that matters. What can make me happy is between the 6 inches of my ears.
39. This too shall pass. Most of us get used to a new reality in the course of time.
40. An "good-enough" life is fine. One need not be "great"
41. A teacher or coach makes you do things that you would not have thought possible.
39. This too shall pass. Most of us get used to a new reality in the course of time.
40. An "good-enough" life is fine. One need not be "great"
41. A teacher or coach makes you do things that you would not have thought possible.
42. People do not fundamentally change in some things. You are what you are. I for example cannot do networking.
43. Shit can happen anytime.
44. If you have choice of marrying between - someone you love or someone who loves you, then choose the latter.
45. How a company treats you is no measure of how successful it will be. It is a micro behaviour that does not impact macro reality of market position.
46. There is no cosmic justice in the world. People do not meet consequences of their actions in a lifetime.
47. Privilege sharpens merit. If your math fundamentals are skewed an not corrected through tuitions, you cannot be 'meritorious'.
48. Understanding can be taught. Not appreciation (in relation to Hindustani classical music)
49. Often things are a matter of degrees. Both statements can be true. I.e. should we be responsible for what a person feels ? partly...depending on degrees.
50. It's not that people change or don't change. People have to choose to change in some things. Some do and some don't.
51. Ultimately the Gita had it right. Do your work. Do not be attached to the outcome.
53. It is ok to change your mind. And if you don't change you are not evolving. Have strong opinions to be able to defend them but loosely held. When facts change, I change my mind.
54. Sometimes you need to question why do you believe something. Some things are so ingrained that it takes real effort to unearth the core assumptions.
54. Change is not an event. It takes time, hard work and patience.
55. The hardest part of being a parent is to stand back and let them make mistakes. It is also the most important part.
56. I wany to be rich not to buy Ferraris but to be independent.
57. Maturity (Mental health) is about giving up illusions about who are, other are or life 'should be'. It is a bitterness free acceptance of the idea that we will travel through agony as an inevitable part of life.
59. Six drivers : Be strong, Please others, Be perfect, Try Hard, Hurry up
60. The question is how far will you compromise. How many small compromises will it require till you say 'enough'. Or is it one big compromise ?
61. One of the most under-rated quantity is that of courage.
62. Randomness (luck) is powerful. However do your Karma regardless.
63. We crave a balance between order and disorder.
64. All you can control in life is how you respond to life.
65. Parenting has to be a bit imperfect. If child has everything, there is no pain and no drive.
66. A single autocrat can mess up fragile institutions. Institutions work collectively. Processes can be trumped by individuals. Institutions can be brought down by an asshole.
67. I believe in science not pseudoscience. Kris Ashok rocks
68. Spend money to minimize regret (future and present)
69. What you should strive for is independence + purpose. (proabably got independence, now need purpose)
# posted by Abhijat @ 6:11 AM 
